GoT Cover UPDATE

DIRTY GIRLS: WOMEN RULE THE WORLD

Are you ready? I’m so excited the Khaleesi is in the “previously on” scenes! That means she’ll be in tonight’s ep. Whee! Side note: We’ve been rewatching season 1. If it’s been a while, I highly recommend you go back to the beginning. All the characters were so young and watching these old eps feels so nostalgic. Gah. Right before tonight’s show, we watched the “Golden Crown” ep where Daenerys’ a-hole brother, Viserys, finally got his golden crown courtesy of Khal Drogo, and he kept screaming for “Dany” to come save him.

Candi: We meet again. During tonight’s intro I baked some bread, did 27 loads of laundry. And I just woke up from a nap.

Week 4 opens up at the Wall. The camera is zoomed in on Jon’s sword, Longclaw, which was passed down to him from Lord Commander Mormont. It looks like Jon plans to pass it down to Edd as he questions where Jon will go and Jon claims he’s going south to get warm. Edd starts freaking out and reminds him that he was with Jon at Hardhome. They both know what is coming with the white walkers. He doesn’t understand how Jon could leave them now. They need him. Jon is still in his stubborn mode and claims he did everything he could to help the Watch and they killed him for it! He gave his life and his own brothers took it! How could he stay there after that? Just then the horn that announces visitors blows. Oh my god … Is it? Could it possibly be …? IT IS! Sansa is here!! And Jon is still here!!

Paula: It’s winter and no one has a coat. I just noticed that.

Candi: Hi..hi..Jon Snow *swoons* Ohh is that me?? On the horse!!! And OMG. Is Jon Snow CHECKING ME OUT!!! Ohhh lettuce pray that is me!!! OMG are we lovers!!!! Holy shit. Wait. Are we related??? I’m so confused!!!! But that don’t mean anything in this show. One thing I am sure of…I’m pretty bad ass. So much better than being a dead whore.

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My name is Sansa Stark, and I’m a kick ass motherfucker!

Sweet baby Jesus! I just screamed in excitement! FIST PUMP! Holy fuck! My wife just told me to calm down. I NEVER thought this would happen. I seriously thought I’d be waiting a whole season before these two were reunited, and I figured he’d have left right before she got there. Man oh man. This is glorious! Also, it’s been bugging me because you have to remember that back in the day Sansa was a total snob to Jon and they weren’t close. His being a bastard was the one stain on her family’s impeccable honor. I don’t know how they will respond to each other, but once he walks out and sees her, it gives me the chills! The disbelief, shock, and relief are on both of their faces and after a moment’s pause she launches herself towards him and they have the most epic hug in all the reunion hugs in all the land! I am so verklempt over this. Neither of them has seen a family member in years. Regardless of whatever petty differences happened as kids, they are family. Two starks are finally reunited!!!! Praise the old gods!

Later Sansa is cleaned up and she and Jon are alone together while she’s enjoying some soup and they are sharing stories of old Nan. They are reminiscing and both deeply regret ever leaving Winterfell. She confides in him that she spent a lot of time thinking about what an asshole she was to him. Her words! She was an asshole! I’m so glad they addressed this! She knows she was awful to him, but he tells her he’s ok and admits that he was a pain in the ass too because he was always sulking around and pouting in the corner while the rest of them played. She asks for his forgiveness and he says there is nothing to forgive but she demands that he forgive her and he does. Good! My heart is bursting over this now. I love it!

Paula: So she wears a coat inside, in front of a fire, but not outside in the snow. Interesting.

She reaches for his beer and takes a swig. Damn, his little sister is all grown up! She wants to know where he will go. He corrects her and says, where “we” will go. If he doesn’t watch over her, he knows their father’s ghost will come and murder him. Aww. Sansa reminds him there is only one place they can go. Home to Winterfell. She intends to take it back from the Boltons. Jon claims he doesn’t have an army. She counters with how many wildlings did he save? She doesn’t think they will be safe at the Wall when Bolton comes. She tries to convince him that Winterfell is their home and it belongs to all of them that are left. They owe it to themselves and to Arya, Bran, and Rickon, wherever they are. Jon is exhausted! He’s tired of fighting because it’s all he’s done since he left home. He’s killed everyone from enemies to white walkers to Brothers and hell he even hanged a boy younger than Bran! (FU Olly!) He’s pretty downtrodden at this point and says he’s fought and he’s lost. But Sansa is smart. She knows they’ll never be safe unless they take back the north. She wants his help but will do it herself if she has to. Go Sansa!

Next we see Davos approach Melisandre. He wants to know what she plans to do and she tells him she goes where Jon Snow goes now as she thinks he’s The Prince That Was Promised. Davos questions her because he knows she used to think Stannis was the one. He wants to know what happened down there when Stannis died and asks about Princess Shireen. Melisandre hesitates because the tentative cease-fire these two have developed may fall to shit once he hears that she burned Shireen alive. Just then, Brienne walks up and towers over both of them. I love that she’s so tall! She tells them she knows what happened and knows that Renly was murdered by blood magic because she saw that demon baby of Melisandre’s and she is glad that she got her chance to execute Stannis. Welp that explains exactly what happened to Stannis. She walks away leaving them both staring after her, and Davos still doesn’t get his answer as to the Princess.

Over at the Vale, we see little Lord Robin Arryn trying really hard to hit a target. This kid has zero archery skills much to Lord Royce’s consternation. Petyr Baelish aka Littlefinger rolls up and the kid goes running to his Uncle Petyr! Lord Royce immediately gets pissy with Littlefinger because he was supposed to protect Lady Sansa and the next thing they hear is that she’s been married to Ramsay Bolton, son of the man that betrayed the Starks. Of course, Littlefinger plays it off like Bolton’s men surrounded them during their travels and they were outnumbered. He even goes as far as to hint that only Lord Royce knew the path they were taking. Royce is not cool with this accusation and Littlefinger suggests that Robin may have to make a decision about Lord Royce. The kid nonchalantly asks if Uncle Petyr wants to make Lord Royce fly from the moon door. Damn. This kid is still a nutty little shit. But Littlefinger vouches for Lord Royce and says they should give him another shot to prove his loyalty. Side note: I don’t have a dog in the race on the whole breast feeding your kids until they are like 10 years old but maybe … just maybe … this kid could be the poster child for the opposition. Next, Littlefinger confides in Robin about Sansa escaping from a bad man and the kid says she’s his cousin and they should help her. This is all going exactly as Littlefinger planned. He announces that the Lord has spoken, and orders the men to gather the Knights of the Vale because it is time to join the fray.

Candi: Now who is this little kid??? Is that my Pervy uncle?? JON SNOW IS MY BROTHER?!?!?!!! No!!!!!! No. No. No!!! I now understand the drunk lady’s situation.

Across the narrow sea in Meereen, Grey Worm is bitching that Tyrion is inviting the enemy to them by allowing the masters in for negotiations. He’d rather kill the enemies than talk to them. Missandei isn’t happy about this either but she’s got a new outfit on this week and looks super-hot in her leather crop top. The masters from the other cities aren’t happy because they say they came to meet the Queen but instead are greeted with a dwarf and an eunuch. This made me laugh. Basically the masters want Dany to take her dragons and leave. Everyone is very vague about where the Queen is on her travels. These guys are slave-mongering assholes and they tell Grey Worm that he’s still a slave and just because the person he fights for now has silver hair and tits doesn’t change that fact. Touché! Missandei stands up to the masters and calls them out for owning people. Insults and barbs are traded all around. Meanwhile, Tyrion is trying to reason with everyone. He suggests they do not need slaves to make money because slaves haven’t been allowed in Westeros in years and he grew up richer than all of the masters. Everyone knows the Lannisters are covered in money so they can’t argue with that. He proposes that instead of abolishing slavery outright, which was Dany’s way, he’ll give them seven years to end the practice and the slaveholders will be compensated for their losses. Tyrion will give them this concession if they cut off their support for the Sons of the Harpy. Missandei looks physically pained at this seven years announcement. Tyrion gives the masters a few whores and tells them they should give freedom a chance.

Paula: Did you notice how slow that ship was moving behind them? That made me laugh.

Candi: The little dude!! I like his bargaining tactics lol.

As the three of them leave the masters to it, some locals are waiting to see what’s going on. They start to argue with Tyrion because they are pissed that he is speaking for them. Tyrion tries to explain his reasoning but they don’t trust him. Instead they turn to Grew Worm who says he fights for peace. Missandei and Grey Worm surprisingly stand up for Tyrion in front of the others but they let him have it when they are alone. Missandei reminds him that seven years is not a short time for a slave. They don’t understand how Tyrion can trust the masters. He assures them he doesn’t but he trusts their loyalty to their own self-interests. Grey Worm explains that the masters don’t think of them as people. When they look at him they see a weapon. When they look at Missandei they see a whore. Tyrion counters that when they look at him they see a little beast of a man. There’s not a real resolution here but we’ll see how this plays out. I was pleased to see them taking Tyrion’s side publicly.

Next up, Jorah and Daario are sweating their asses off climbing up a big rock outside of Vaes Dothrak. Jorah is seriously winded and Daario starts mocking him about his age. He says it’s a good thing “she chose me because you can’t ride the dragon.” He’s talking about Dany! Ha! He mocks that Jorah’s heart couldn’t take a night with her because don’t misjudge her size; she’s a real wild woman! Jorah tells him they can kill each other after they find the Khaleesi. Daario isn’t interested in fighting Jorah because if he wins, he’s the shit who killed an old man and if he loses, he’s the shit that was killed by an old man. Once Jorah makes it to the top, they overlook the city and Jorah explains the Dothraki have taken her to the Dosh Khaleen. Jorah has been to this village before, back when the Khaleesi was married to Khal Drogo. He knows the village pretty well. He makes them get rid of their weapons because it is known that weapons are not allowed in Vaes Dothrak. Daario gives his beloved lady knife a kiss to say goodbye and spots Jorah’s greyscale. He asks if he knows what happens next and Jorah tells him he does. I guess they are referring to his impending death. How sad.

Paula: Yeah right. Like they really walked to that city that fast? I don’t believe that for one second. Nobody gets anywhere on this show that fast.

Candi: Why don’t I remember this manly man with the snake skin guy??? Where did HE come from?!!!!

At nightfall they sneak into the city and see the typical Dothraki sex shenanigans. The encounter two dudes along the way and Jorah tries to convince them they are merchants but the men do not believe him. This leads to a fight and Daario chases the one who runs while Jorah stays to fight the other one. It’s not going well. Jorah’s greyscale must really be taking a toll cause he’s getting his ass kicked. Luckily Daario snuck that knife in after all because he stabs the dude and saves Jorah’s life. Jorah advises him to get rid of the evidence of the stab wound and Daario smashes the guy to bits with a rock. Good times!

Paula: *Oh my god. I just spent 10 minutes trying to figure out why I had no sound. Somehow I turned it down.

Candi: And HELLO!!!! We have sex!!! Wall banging sex!!! Barf. Gag. Puke. Omg.

Dany is all cleaned up and biding her time with the other widows. They are all talking about the terrors that could happen if she’s not allowed to stay with the Dosh Khaleen. There’s a young woman who looks to be about Dany’s age. The old widow tells her this young woman was taken by her Khal when she was only 12 years old, she bore him a child and in thanks he broke her ribs at age 13. Charming. Dany tells the woman she needs to make water and they send the other young woman out to keep an eye on her. Dany starts up small talk with the other woman and confides that she needed fresh air because the old women stink. The girl gets a kick out of this and Dany tells her it’s too bad her Khal didn’t die sooner. The girl agrees wholeheartedly. She starts to question Dany about her dragons and seems really fascinated with her life when suddenly Daario and Jorah appear and Daario grabs the girl and puts a knife to her throat. Dany orders him not to hurt the girl. She appreciates their sorry rescue attempt but tells them they won’t be able to escape that way but she has a plan and everyone must listen to her and the girl must not betray her.

Paula: Does make water mean she has to pee? Or is she really making water?

Over in King’s Landing, we see Margaery. Hey girl, how are you? It’s been a while. The High Sparrow brings her in to his chambers and questions her about where she would go and whom she would seek out once they free her. She immediately replies that she’d seek out her brother and her husband and her family. He reminds her that seeking out her family means seeking out sin. He tells the story of how his father was a cobbler and a simple man. When his father passed and he inherited the business he wanted to make it bigger and grander. He started selling shoes to the highborn. He describes how long it would take to make their fancy shoes. He tells her she’s probably worn a year of his life on her back. Margaery replies that she’s heard his story as Septa Unella reads at her often. He claims the story isn’t exactly right but it goes something like he had a feast where they passed around wine and women. People fell into a stupor, still drunk, lying in heaps next to their fine clothes with the truth of their bodies laid bare. He could still smell them beneath all the finery and it gave him clarity. He realized that his race for the good life was all a part of a story of lies. He left without his shoes and never looked back. Interesting.

Candi: This old dude puts me to sleep. Everytime. Stop talkin!!!

Then he offers her his hand to go see her brother, Loras. You know, I knew Loras was taken prisoner too, but I almost forgot about him being in there. Sorry, Loras! Once she makes it into his cell she sees her brother sprawled out on the floor and he’s just a mess. It doesn’t look like he’s fairing as well as his sister. She grabs him and starts to hug him and tells him he needs to stay strong. He cries that he is not strong. She tries to convince him he is strong and he’s the future of their house and family, but he doesn’t care about that now. He’s crying and begging her to help him. She keeps telling him she needs them to fight together because she knows the High Sparrow is going to try to use her to help tear Loras down. All Loras cares about is making it stop. He’s falling apart while she’s left holding the pieces.

Now Maester Pycell is trying to advise King Tommen and Cersei walks in as pissed as ever. She basically orders him out and he doesn’t listen until the King gives the order. Tommen tells his mother he’s been thinking about the High Sparrow and worries about antagonizing him because they have Margaery. Cersei is like yeah, no shit. Look what they did to your own mother. He knows she doesn’t like Margaery but Cersei says it doesn’t matter. Whatever has happened is in the past and Margaery is the Queen and her safety is paramount. He then confides something in her that the High Sparrow tells him but the door closes, and we don’t get to hear it!

Next we see Jaime and Cersei walking into another meeting with Granny Tyrell and Uncle Kevan. Before the pissing contest can begin in earnest, Cersei informs them that she’s been advised that Margaery, sweet girl, will have to make her walk of atonement. That gets Granny’s attention. She’s like OH HELL NO. That cannot happen. Now they are finally listening. Kevan explains that per King Tommen’s orders he is not to raise an army against the High Sparrow while Margaery is his prisoner because he’s worried she will get hurt. Jaime says the plan is to bring in the entire Tyrell army, grab Margaery before she starts her walk, all the while the kingsguard can stand down and let the Tyrells do the dirty work. Cersei reminds her uncle that he hates the Faith Militant as much as the rest of them. His son Lancel is one of the recruits for god’s sake! She asks if he wants his son back? She tells him to stand aside. He worries that if it doesn’t go as planned there will be a civil war, but no one else seems too worried about that. Granny Tyrell is on board. This should be interesting!

Over at the Iron Islands, Theon is on a ship heading home. He arrives home to see his sister, Yara. She’s shocked that he’s there because she was certain he was dead. She asks if Ramsay let him go. He tells her he escaped. Theon can’t make eye contact with her and is sniffling. She demands that he look at her. She is yelling at him telling him that many good men, her men, died trying to rescue him. He apologizes over and over. She tells him he was a spoiled little cunt but he was still her brother so she tried to rescue him from Ramsay, and he betrayed her. Theon cries that Ramsay broke him into a 1000 pieces. She knows all about that because Ramsay sent them one of his pieces. Eww. Remember that? He sent Theon’s cut off cock to his family! She thinks he’s here to try and take his place as heir since their father died. He claims he just found out about their father dying once he arrived. He has no designs on the throne and wants her to rule the Iron Islands, with his help.

Paula: Poor Reek. Everyone is so mean to him.

Over at Winterfell, they bring Osha into Ramsay’s chambers. Ugh. What’s he going to do? This creepy fucker is peeling an apple. Ugh. He asks if she’s seen his banners and she has. She wants to know if he eats them after he flays them. He laughs a bit and replies no. Well then she’s seen worse. He motions her forward. Hm. What is going to happen? She’s been around the block a time or two and is no stranger to tricking men but he’s such a creep! I’m scared. He asks about her being a good servant to the Starks and she says yes, they put me in chains and I served them. He wants to know why she was still looking after Rickon if she really felt that way about the Starks and she claims she stayed with him because he was a good prize. He tells her Rickon is not hers to sell. He wonders what use he could possibly have for her. She gives him her coy girl look and says she can give him what he wants. She climbs onto his lap, straddles him and they begin to kiss. She’s secretly eyeing up his knife on the table while he tells her that she’s much better than Theon since he didn’t have to do anything to make her talk. She continues to kiss him while reaching for the knife and he says once he finally got Theon to talk he heard all about the Stark boys and who helped them escape … and how she did it. And oh hell! He stabs her right in the throat before she can stab him. Damn. Well that’s a shame. I always liked you Osha! And it was badass when you seduced Theon to help the Stark boys escape the first time around. I guess all I can say now is at least he didn’t torture her and it was a quick death. RIP Osha.

Paula: Who is this woman with Ramsay? Did I miss something? Oh nevermind she’s dead now.

Back at the Wall, Sansa, Jon, and company are having dinner while Sansa and Brienne stare at the food. It doesn’t look very appetizing, but I think Tormund is making eyes at Brienne! Ooh, I’d like to see this go down! Edd apologizes to Sansa about the food. Before they can have a conversation, someone walks in with a letter for the Lord Commander. Jon takes it even though he resigned his post. We can see the flayed man banner stamp. It’s from Ramsay! Eeep! Jon begins to read the letter out loud. It’s addressed to Jon and says something like you’ve betrayed everyone by letting the wildlings in, your brother Rickon is in my dungeon, you will watch as … he stops reading it and Sansa demands that he continue. He won’t and she grabs it away from him and begins to read. She continues reading … you will watch as my soldiers take turns raping your sister, you will watch as my dogs eat your wild little brother. He signs it as Lord Ramsay of Winterfell and Warden of the North. Jon doesn’t understand how he’s warden but Sansa explains that he killed his father, Roose Bolton. Jon doesn’t know if they should believe that Rickon is really there but Sansa assures him if he says it, he’s there. She tells them Ramsay has 5000 men, Jon asks Tormund how many of their people can fight. He says they have 2,000. The odds don’t look good but Sansa takes control here and tells Jon he must fight because he is the son of the last true Warden of the North and people will support him. A monster has taken their home and their brother. They have to go to Winterfell to save them both. I fucking love this side of Sansa. She’s bold and strong and confident and she will not take no for an answer. Jon agrees to fight.

Next up we see the poor man’s Khal Drogo. I’m sorry but none of you horse lord dudes will ever be as glorious as Khal Drogo. The guy in charge, we’ll just call him Khal because I didn’t catch his name, is listening to someone tell the story of the man that got his head smashed in. Oh dear! The Khal isn’t too concerned and doesn’t seem suspicious that it’s outside forces. Phew! He orders them to bring in Drogo’s widow. The old widow and the young woman escort Dany into the Temple and then they leave. When Dany comes in the other men start talking shit about her. They don’t understand what’s so special about her. They say she’s a midget! Ha! This made me laugh. She’s petite, you fuckers! Another one says he wants to taste her and another says the masters of Yunkai want her. They are willing to trade 10,000 horses for her. They don’t understand why anyone would want one pink little girl for 10,000 horses. The Khal says the Yunkai can fuck their own asses because if he wants their 10,000 horses, he’ll take them! Meanwhile, the Khaleesi / Mother of Dragons / Dany is just eyeing them all up with disgust. She says don’t you want to know what I think? The Khal says oh you want to be traded for 10,000 horses or let this dude taste you? She gives him a withering stare and says no.

Paula: I wonder if they just make up this language or if someone gives them lines for it?

Dany starts walking around the temple, circling the candles and tells them she was here before because this is where she ate the stallion heart when the Dosh Khaleen pronounced her unborn child as the stallion who would mount the world, this is where Khal Drogo promised her he would bring the Dothraki horses across the narrow sea, tear down the wooden houses, and take Westeros back for her. She ends her speech in the center of the temple surrounded by firelight. She says, I think you are all small men. None of you are fit to lead the Dothraki, but I am. So I will. They are all stunned. They cannot believe a woman would dare to speak to them like this. They laugh. He tells her, no Dosh Khaleen for you! Instead we’ll take turns fucking you and then we’ll let our bloodriders fuck you, and then we’ll let the horses have a turn if there is anything left of you, you crazy cunt! While he goes off on his tirade she calmly watches him. When he finally finishes he asks if she thought they would serve her? She tells him no, they’re not going to serve her. They are going to die. Then she tips over the first candelabra and the flames begin to spread quickly. Holy fucking shit! She’s going to burn them all. The men go running and screaming, but her helpful new friend has barricaded the door! Then she pushes the candelabras down one after another and watches them burn. Outside we can see Jorah and Daario watching from a distance as the entire Temple is engulfed in flames. All of the Dothraki come running to see what’s going on. There are so many people watching. Damn! This is so badass! The Khal turns to look at her when he realizes they can’t get out and she pushes down the last candle and watches him burn. Damn! Holy shit!!! A fire doesn’t burn the dragon, motherfuckers! I’m dying over the epicness of this!!! She walks out naked because the fire has burned off her clothes but she remains The Unburnt! Plus! Khaleesi boobs! She stands out there in all of her badass gloriousness and watches as all the Dothraki stare in awe and they bow down to her, as she knew they would. This is just like when her dragons were born! I’m fist pumping so hard right now!!! Jorah has seen this before but Daario has only heard the stories, they both walk forward and kneel in worship as well. Dude! Can you believe that?! All the best scenes in the history of this show involve the Khaleesi! Fucking epic!!!!

 

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Oh wait. You thought a man was going to save me? That’s cute. I am Daenerys Stormborn Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, and The Unburnt. 

Paula: These women are kicking ass tonight. I think it’s obvious who the rulers really are in this magical land.

Candi: Is anyone else singing the roof is on fire!! Burn mother fucker, burn!!! LOLOL.

The credits roll.

Paula: Oh dang, that ENDING! That music gave me chills! I swear the music is the best part.

Candi: Next week, lettuce pray for reunion sex between the dragon lady and that really sexy beast that saved her!! Not the stone skin dude. Just to clarify lol.

Best hair: The Khaleesi after she walked out of the fire! So epic! PS, thank the gods the show runners don’t burn her hair off like GRRM did! 😉

Biggest AS IF: I can’t even think of one! I’m too high on life after this episode!

Biggest Fist Pump: All the ladies get big fist pumps tonight, but the Mother of Dragons / The Unburnt / the most epic Khaleesi of all time gets double fist pumps!

Final Thoughts: I’m just beside myself with joy in the way the women were showcased this week. This episode. Goddamn. This is why I love Game of Thrones. This is why I love GRRM’s writing and this is why I love the way HBO has handled the show. Yes, there are scenes involving women that make me cringe. They’ve faced unbearable hardships and unspeakable crimes against their person but these travesties do not define these women. They are so much more than what is done to them. These women are tough. They are survivors. They take whatever power they can in a world when it wasn’t theirs to take. And how fucking poetic that the women were holding up the men this week? Sansa is giving Jon some of her courage when he just wants to throw in the towel and walk away. Margaery is quite literally holding her brother up to try to will him to survive while she is being the strong one for their family. It’s quite sad that he’s the future of the household when she is clearly the shiny star of the Tyrell family. Just like her grandmother before her. Even Jaime is basically just a mouthpiece for Cersei at this point. Cersei is the one that listens to her son’s problems after he left her to rot in that cage, and she’s still going to be here to save his ass and comes up with the plan to hopefully rid the city of the High Sparrow once and for all. Then we have Yara reminding us all how her brother was a prisoner of Ramsay and she went to save him. She would have too. She had murdered Ramsay’s men and was ready to take Theon out of there but he was so beaten and broken that he cried for Ramsay and alerted Ramsay’s guards that she was there. She will be a better ruler of the Iron Islands than Theon could hope to be. Then Jorah and Daario think they are there to save the Khaleesi when she’s been working on her master plan all along. For me, the Khaleesi’s scene was the most important of all. She did this all on her own. She didn’t need her dragons, she didn’t need an army, she didn’t need any men to save her. She just needed her wits and some help from a new lady friend who I really hope becomes her new “it is known” girl. She saved herself and earned a fucking devoted army of believers in the process. She took what Khal Drogo couldn’t give her. How amazing is that from one pink little girl?

P.S. Another reason I was so pumped for tonight is that I had watched that Golden Crown ep and after Viserys died, remember how Dany calmly said fire cannot kill a dragon? She is the dragon!

KAYTI MCGEE: SRSLY CERSEI

Well, I think Hove said it best in ’03 Bonnie and Clyde, which Jaime and I have decided is totes our song. “And I don’t have to worry, only worry is him She do anything necessary for him And I do anything necessary for her so don’t let the necessary occur, yep!” Except the necessary IS occurring, thanks to my least favorite son’s inability to stand up to the High Sparrow. And how about that awkward moment where I had to face down Lancel’s dad? Like haha yes I did bang your son, but it was only cuz my brother was gone lol. Now I have to work with the old bat to rescue Queen Cunty, but it’ll put them in my debt, so… I accept favors, Lady Visa, Master Card, and all red Dornish vintages.

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JR GRAY: JAIME RANTS

Jon Snow dies and Sansa inherited his balls. The reunion we’ve been waiting 5 seasons for.

Little Finger needs to go through the moon door.

Look at my girl taking back her power. Things are always better when her and I work together. Incest makes us stronger. -shifty-

Red haired wildling is my new favorite character, other than myself of course.

I really hope Daenerys kills all the men. She did, and praise the new gods she has fucking amazing tits.

I am feeling the girl power and it’s turning me on.

*All graphics used are in fun with fair use. They do not belong to us, but to the powers that be at HBO and Game of Thrones. No copyright infringement intended.